


Even a Phoenix Can Fall

by Crazywolf_16



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angry Wilbur Soot, Angst, Bad Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Broken Families, Broken Promises, Child Abuse, Depressed TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Depression, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Evil Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Exile, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Ghost Wilbur Soot, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Toby Smith | Tubbo, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Hybrid TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), I'm Bad At Tagging, Lonely TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Manipulative Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Mind Manipulation, Older Sibling Wilbur Soot, Pain, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Phoenix TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Wilbur Soot, Ram Hybrid Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sad, Sad Ending, Scared TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Song Lyrics, Song fic, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Technoblade is Bad at Feelings (Video Blogging RPF), Trauma, Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, Winged TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wingfic, Worried Toby Smith | Tubbo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:01:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29304675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazywolf_16/pseuds/Crazywolf_16
Summary: Tommy was tiered. So very tiered. He just wanted to sleep. He misses his brother. How did things turn out like this?
Relationships: Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 21
Kudos: 416
Collections: Completed stories I've read, MCYT





	Even a Phoenix Can Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Short announcement about what you need to know about this AU
> 
> -Tommy is the only one that can see ghost Wilbur.  
> -Ghost Wilbur still has all of his memories.  
> -Story line almost completely follow canon. The only difference get explained in the story.
> 
> The song that is used is: Dancing with your ghost by Sasha Sloan

Tommy sat up on that pillar. The pillar was tall enough that if he were to to fall he would die for sure. Sitting so high up Tommy looked over Logsteadshrine, or at least what was left of it. The ruins of the place he once saw as home brought tears to his eyes. Despite the tears he had a smile on his face. All that Tommy felt was pain. He didn’t want to do it anymore. He was tired. So very tired. He wanted his brother. His brother that now followed him as a ghost. A ghost that only Tommy could see and hear. He didn’t know why he was the only one that could hear him. But that didn’t matter right now. Besides even now Tommy couldn’t see Wilbur. Tommy didn’t know where the ghost was, he just knew that sometimes he disappeared and didn’t come back for days. Every time Tommy asked Wilbur he said that it had to do with Wilbur needing to take a break of making himself visible. Tommy didn’t understand it but that was alright. He would understand soon.

Tommy never once thought that this was how he would leave this world. The idea that he would ever consider this was so foreign and wired for Tommy to think about. But here he sat. On top of that pillar. Looking over the ruin of his safe place. Tommy no longer looked like the happy child he once was. His eyes now a dull blue almost dark grey. His hair grew to his shoulders, covert in dirt and debris. Knots littered in his hair. His clothes tattered and ripped, Blood and dirt staining the clothing. But the one thing that stood out the most was his wings. The way his wings changed was painful to look at. His once beautiful wings that looked like a raging fire with the red, orange, and yellow colour, and with the gold undertone that made them shimmer and look like a raging fire. Those wings now looked dull and broken. No longer having the vibrant beautiful colour they used to have, but now they were a dull brown and ugly sick looking yellow. Feathers missing in spots. His primary feathers clipped in an uneven and broken way. No they weren’t the same wings. Tommy was malnourished and entirely too thin. He was no longer the happy child, he was a broken dull shell of what he used to be.

He lost everything and everyone. Everyone he cared about left him. He was left alone to rot away. He didn’t understand for a long time why everyone kept leaving. But now, sitting on top of that pillar, he finally understood. He understood that the problem was him. He was annoying and useless. He didn’t have any good qualities about himself. Even if Wilbur’s ghost told him otherwise. He couldn't believe it anymore. After all, anytime anyone left that’s what they said. They always told him that he was useless and annoying. They always told them how much better off they would be without him. Even Tubbo told him so. Tubbo, the one person besides Wilbur that Tommy thought would never leave. Tubbo, the person that exiled him. Even Techno, his only remaining brother, left him. His own father never cared about him either. Phil made it pretty clear that he thought that Tommy was useless and annoying when he left Wilbur to raise him. Wilbur. His older brother. The brother that raised him. He left too. He left Tommy. Why? Well that’s simple to answer. Because Tommy was annoying. It’s as simple as that. The one family member that truly ever cared.

Phil was always too busy for Tommy. Even when he would be home he only ever spent time with Techno and Wilbur. Eventually Wilbur stopped spending time with their dad. Being angry towards the older man. He was angry at the way he was treating the youngest child of the family. After that Phil and Techno barely ever came home. Sometimes it took years before they would come for a day or two. Never staying for long. Wilbur taking care of Tommy. Raising him while still being a child himself.

Tommy remembered sitting by the window every night for hours. He waited for Phil and Techno to come home. He remembered birthdays, Christmases, new years, and other holidays spent crying, hoping for a father that won’t come. A father that gave up on his younger sons. He remembered Wilbur being there. Remembered the endless nights crying in Wilbur’s arms. The sobs would always be accompanied by a soft hum or soft words being sung. His brother, trying to do everything he can to make the younger more comfortable. To calm the younger down. He remembered being sick and feeling like he was dying. He remembered calling out for his dad, to Phil. He remembered his dad not being there. He remembered Wilbur coming running any time he screamed or cried. He remembered the only comfort he ever got from his family was from Wilbur. His older brother, who was never supposed to spend his childhood raising Tommy.

The memory that he remembered the most however, was when he got his wings. The endless pain that Tommy felt from his wings coming in, how uncomfortable he was, but most importantly, he remembered Wilbur. His brother holding him in his arms. His brother, who stayed up with Tommy for hours on end to comfort him. The brother that sung sweet words and engulfed him in a comforting warmth. Wilbur who distracted the young crying child. The person that knew nothing off wings but did everything he could to help the small child in his arms. He remembered that the most. He remembered the disappointment that came with wanting to show his wings to the rest of the family. They never once came to see them. They never saw Tommy’s wings. No, not until Tommy way 16.

Despite everything, Tommy saw the good in all of those memories. After all, there was one constant in all of those memories. There was one person that was always there. No matter what. With time Tommy started seeing Wilbur as his hope. After all, if Wilbur was willing to stay with Tommy for so long then there was hope. Wilbur, the person that would constantly tell Tommy how proud he is of his little brother. Wilbur the person that tough Tommy everything. Wilbur the person that took care of him when Tommy was sick. Wilbur who would go out and play with Tommy even when he was sick. The person that sat at that window with his younger brother for hours singing songs. The person that sang to Tommy when he was crying. The person that held Tommy when his wings grew in. Wilbur, the person who was there, no matter what. The person that without any fail was always proud of Tommy.

Tommy missed Wilbur. Despite everything that happened in Pogtopia, despite the slow decline of insanity his brother went through, despite everything, Tommy still loved Wilbur. After all, Wilbur was there any time Tommy messed up. He was there any time Tommy started a new war. He stood behind his brother. Tommy just couldn't blame Wilbur for anything that happened. Tommy couldn’t stop the constant pull of wanting to be back in those comforting and warm arms. The arms that were his brother's arms. The warmth that Tommy saw as his true home. But Tommy knew that all of that was gone. He will never have the chance to start a nation with his brother again. They will never be able to start another war together again. They will never be able to fool around together again. No, those days were gone. Their so-called “father” made sure of that. Phil made sure that Wilbur wouldn’t come back.

Now Tommy spent his days with a ghost only he could see. Tommy couldn’t tell whether the ghost was only a figment of his imagination, a hallucination maybe?, or if he was real. Wilbur left Tommy, right? Or was this really Wilbur? Did he come back for Tommy? He wasn’t sure. Despite that he was all too happy to spend time with the ghost. It was nice to have company. Someone that was there for him. His brother. His home. His comfort. The ghost that he now dances through the night with.

Looking at the starry night Tommy thought of everything that happened. He thought of his brother and everything they went through together. Of course with the memories came all of the songs they sang together. With the songs came the one song that Tommy wrote for his brother. The song he sang for Wilbur at his grave. The song he shared with his dead brother's ghost. With the memory of the song came the sudden urge to sing it one last time. His last cry for comfort before he too, would become a wandering spirit. His last tribute before Tommy gave in to his need to sleep. After all, Tommy was tired. So Tommy took a deep breath before he started softly singing the words he wrote for his brother.

**Yelling at the sky,**

**Screaming at the world,**

**Brother, why’d you go away?**

**I’m still your brother,**

**Holding on to tight,**

**Head up in the clouds,**

**Heaven only knows,**

**Where you are now,**

__ _ Tommy doesn’t remember much of the fighting itself. He remembers being able to defeat Schlatt with the help of everyone else. He remembers Techno being mad at Tommy, all tho the reason as to why was blurry. It had something to do with governments and Tommy playing a hero. At the time he wasn't too concerned with that. He remembers trying to protect Tubbo. He remembers that there were withers and a lot of fighting going on. The most vivid thing he remembers was trying to find Wilbur. He was worried for his older brother and was desperately trying to find him. _

__ _ Frantically running around the battlefield in order to find his older brother. He was instantly knocked over by a blast. When Tommy gathered himself back onto his feet and looked around all he saw was a crater. No more l’manburg. No more caravan. No more home. All that was left was one big crater. The very place that Tommy called home, now nothing but a giant hole. Tommy wasn’t stupid. He knew that it was Wilbur that blew it all up. His insanity finely took over. But even then, Tommy kept searching for his brother. He needed to find Wilbur. Needed to get to Wilbur before anyone else. _

__ _ After another agonizing long 2 minutes of stumbling over rubble, Tommy had enough. With one swift decision he took out his hidden wings. The wings he has kept hidden since he came to this land. The fire around the battlefield only made Tommy’s wings look even more like a raging fire. Crouching low to the ground Tommy took off. With one strong beat of his wings he was off. From this far up Tommy saw a lot more. He saw all the people still fighting on the battlefield. Despite the explosion the fight was still going on. _

__ _ Tommy, however, was currently not concerned with the fight. He was more concerned with finding Wilbur. So he once again started frantically searching for his brother. This time from up above. He searched for the brown coat that Wilbur loved. The very coat that Wilbur stitched a set of beautiful fire wings into. The hole back looked just like Tommy’s wing. Whenever Tommy asked why it was so important for Wilbur to stitch the wings into his coat he would just smile. Eventually with some pressuring from Tommy he would simply state “There is this gremlin child that has wings just like these. He makes me extremely proud. They are a reminder of how important he is to me.” _

__ _ Tommy will never admit it, but those words brought tears to his eyes. Wilbur truly cared for Tommy, and sure as hell wasn’t scared to show it. That was the exact reason why Tommy started panicking. The longer it took that he didn’t see his brother the more panicked he got. Right before Tommy slipped into a blind panic he spotted his brother. The relief that washed over Tommy, however, was short lived. He may have finally found his brother, only to see their father drive a diamond sword through his chest. _

__ _ Tommy let out a painstaking scream, so loud that for just a second everyone on the battlefield stopped to stare. Watching as the 16 year old dove down from where he was just a second ago. Everyone just stopped to stare. Whether it was because of Wilbur bleeding to death or because of the 16 year old that all of the sudden had wings, no one could say for sure. Tommy couldn’t accept this. He couldn’t lose Wilbur. Not the person that took care of him. Not the person that raised him. Not the only person that was proud of Tommy. At this point endless tears were streaming down Tommy’s face. Once he finally reached his brother he collapsed. Engulfing Wilbur in his arms he shook with sobs. _

__ _ Struggling to breath through the sobs and quickly closing throat Tommy crocked out pleading “Please don’t go. Pl-please. Please don-don’t go. Please. I-I still, I still need you. Please Wilby. I need you!” _

__ _ Tommy felt a soft and comforting hand cradled his check. Once he looked up he saw Wilburs comforting brown eyes staring back at him. With a strained but soft voice Wilbur spoke “It’s okay, little phoenix. I’m glad that I saw your wings one more time. It was such a shame that you hid them for so long. Remember little phoenix, I will always be there for you. Whether I’m dead or alive won’t change that. I will always be there. I love you, Little Phoenix.” _

__ _ The more Wilbur spoke the softer his voice got. Tommy panicked and started screaming “NO-NO DON’T PLEASE. PL-PLEASE WILBY DON’T. no. No no. Please.” _

__ _ By the end Tommy was just whispering. The combination of his brother taking his last breath, of the nickname that Wilbur hasn’t used in ages, and with the people staring Tommy lost it. He screamed and cried and sobbed. Hugging his brother. Refusing to let go. _

__

__ Tommy still remembered why Wilbur gave him that nickname, little phoenix. Wilbur always claimed that it was because no matter what was happening, No matter what war they were in, Tommy always seemed to bring hope back to everyone. Even when all hope seems to be lost. Tommy manages to resurrect it back from its ashes. It’s kinda ironic really. The person that called Tommy a phoenix was also the one that took all of Tommy's hope away. With Wilbur leaving, Tommys hope left as well. Following the spirit of his brother away and out of reach from Tommy.

It's funny. Tommy always knew that this moment was the start of everything else that happened after. It was this moment that was the downfall of Tommy himself. The moment Wilbur died was also the moment that Tommy died. Wilbur took everything that made Tommy, well Tommy, with him to the grave. Wilbur took what made Tommy a phoenix. Leaving Tommy cold without the comforting flames. Even then, Tommy didn’t hate Wilbur. He just missed his home. His home, that was the comforting arms of his brother.

Still sitting up on that pillar in the sky Tommy once again felt the tears cascading down his face. Despite that Tommy never once stopped singing. After all, this song wasn’t for him. No, this song was for his brother. His brother, that was now a ghost. The ghost that he danced around with at night. The ghost of the person he so deeply missed.

**How do I love?**

**How do I love again?**

**How do I trust?**

**How do I trust again?**

_ Three days later Tommy found himself lying limp and emotionless in the crater that used to be the place he called home. Dried tear tracks visible on his face. Tommy was wearing the same brown coat that his older brother so dearly loved. Once again hiding his wings. His eyes were a light blue. They were dull, no longer the bright and happy blue they used to be. Tommy still wore the same clothes as that night. His clothes still stained with blood, dirt, and rubble from the battle. He missed Wilbur. He didn’t know what to do now. He knew that everyone else agreed to start rebuilding L’manburg, but they decided to wait at least a week in order to give everyone a chance to grief and heal from the battle. Tommy didn’t know how he felt about that. On one hand L’manburg was his home. The place he and Wilbur built together. The first place both of them could truly call a home. But on the other hand it wouldn’t be the same without Wilbur. It would be a constant reminder to Tommy of what he lost. Either option didn’t seem like a good option. Any way Tommy looked at this whole mess, he just couldn’t see the victory in it. _

__ _ Tommy was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice the two people that walked up to him. He did notice them as soon as he felt a foot kick his rips. It didn’t necessarily hurt, but it sure as hell wasn’t soft either. With a grunt Tommy looked up to see who was there. Once spotting the 2 faces he snorted. Tommy really didn’t want to talk to them. Turning his head back to the sky he opted to just ignore them until they left. _

__ _ His visitors didn’t seem to appreciate the silent treatment that they received so much. The shorter male with the green bucket hat and black wings spoke up first. His voice was a clear giveaway at how annoyed and pissed off he truly was at the small blond child still laying in the dirt. With hurt clear in his voice he snapped “Where have you been? Do you care so little about your own family? The people that raised you? Do you care so little as to not even check on them when one of them passes away? Why do you never care?” _

__ _ Despite the anger that raged through Tommy he stayed quiet. Aside from the small snort that slipped past his lips there were no sounds coming from Tommy. He didn’t feel like having a fight right now. No he just wanted to grief and lay here in his own misery. Tommy clutched the brown coat even closer to himself. Trying desperately to find any comfort in the clothing that used to belong to his brother, but not finding any. Tommy kept his eyes locked onto the sky and for once in his life kept his mouth shut. _

__ _ Despite his best effort to not start a fight his “family” seemed very determined to steer one up. He just wanted peace and quiet, but even that seemed too much to ask for. His older “brother” was next to speak up. Unlike his “father”, Techno put no effort into hiding the anger in his voice. Standing over his younger sibling he spat “This is all your fucking fault. If you hadn’t dragged Wilbur into your mess then he would still be alive. If you didn’t drive him to insanity he would still be here. If it weren’t for you I would still have my brother.” _

__ _ Even after all of the hateful words Tommy still stayed silent. He didn’t want to interact with the people that pretty much abandoned both Wilbur and himself. But Phil seemed pretty determined to get a reaction out of the younger boy. With that in mind he spoke in a stern voice “Tommy I’m very disappointed in you. I’m disappointed in how you treat your family. I mean for heaven's sake you never even told me that you had wings. I’m disappointed in the fact that you, not once asked for help when you knew Wilbur was in a bad state. I’m disappointed in the fact that you were the reason I had to kill my own son.” _

__ _ At that Tommy lost it. He shot up off the ground and turned on the two people standing there. With furry and pain he growled “Is that supposed to be a surprise? You were never once proud of me Phil. For fucks sake you weren’t even at home. Wilbur raised me. Not you. I tried to tell you about my wings. I tried to show them to you. But you were never at home. You were always too busy playing favourites to check in on your other 2 sons. I sent you letter after letter asking and begging for your help right when Wilburs mental state started to decline but not once did I ever get a response. You didn’t show up to help until Techno sent a letter. I tried asking for help for weeks with no response. DON’T tell me that you are disappointed in me for not caring about my family when they left two young kids alone to fend for themselves. Phil you left two children to take care of themselves. Don’t tell me this is my fault when you know nothing about your own family because you were never here. Don’t accuse me of being the reason that you had to kill Wilbur. If you came to help the first time I send a letter asking for help then none of this would have ever happened. You are no father of mine. You two aren’t my family. You lost that right the second you abandoned me and Wilbur to go off on your little adventures. Don’t lecture me about family when you know nothing about your own family. You have no right. You're Not my dad Phil, and Techno isn’t my brother. You aren’t my family.” _

__ _ Tommy saw the hurt and utter horror in both Technos and Phil's eyes. He didn’t care. They hurt him for years, they weren’t there. Now it was Tommy's turn to tell them how he really feels. He has had enough of being the weak younger brother that no one cares about. Wiping the few tears that managed to escape, he turned around and left. Not giving the two people any chance to respond. He has had enough. All he wanted was to go hide in a hole, curl up and cry. The small flicker of hope that Tommy still had that his family might care was all but gone now. That hope crashing and burning with any other hope that he may have still had. _

__

Thinking back on that moment he may have been a little too harsh with his words. But at the same time he wanted his family to feel the same pain he did when they left. He wanted them to understand why he was mad. He wanted them to understand all the hurt, pain, and betrayal he felt. His own family rejected him despite every effort he put into trying to get a connection with him. Tommy finally decided to reject them the same way they rejected him. To make them see that you can’t just show up to yell at him and then leave again like nothing happened. Tommy was angry yes, but the pain was always more destructive. The pain that made Tommy so very tired. 

Sighing Tommy reminded himself that all of this happened months ago. It doesn’t matter now. What happened, happened. Hurtful words were spoken on both sides of the argument. He didn’t talk to them after that. If Tommy is completely honest, he doesn’t want to talk to them again anyways. They reminded him to much of Wilbur. All the negatives that came from them getting put into a positive by his caring older brother. The only family Tommy ever truly had was Wilbur. Wilbur the spirit that has not yet danced around the sky in the night sky. Taking a steadying breath Tommy continued the song.

**I stay up all night,**

**Tell myself I’m alright,**

**Brother, your just harder to see then most,**

**I put the record on,**

**Wait till I hear our song,**

**Every night I’m dancing with your ghost,**

**Every night I’m dancing with your ghost,**

  
  


__ _ At this point it has been 5 days since they defeated Schlatt. 5 days since Tommy's brother died. Today was Wilburs funeral. That whole morning Tommy has not really been there. Mentaly he was in a completely different place. Not being able to deal with the pain of losing his brother quit yet, his brain just sorta shut off. Tommy remembered getting up in the morning and putting on Wilburs coat. It might not be a lot but the coat did provide some semblance of comfort for Tommy. He felt closer to his brother wearing it. _

__ _ When the funeral itself was held it was one giant blur for Tommy. Everything felt like a haze. Like he was trying to watch everything through a thick fog and couldn’t see anyone. Tommy figured that the lack of sleep certainly didn’t help with his disconnected state. After all, sleeping less than 5 hours within 5 days couldn't be healthy. All Tommy really remembered about the ceremony itself was that he cried. Someone was there and hugged him. But in all honesty, Tommy didn’t know who that was. By the time Tommy zoned back into reality, the funeral was already over. He was the only person that was still left at the grave. He carefully placed Wilburs guitar onto his grave and sat on the ground. Smiling softly, he pulled out a disk. The specific disk was of a recorded song that Wilbur and Tommy created together when they were younger. They would often sing the soft tune to each other. It was a comforting melody for both of them. _

__ _ After a while of just sitting there humming along to the song Tommy sighed. Eventually Tommy took of Wilburs coat, which at some point started to rub uncomfortably against his wings. Slowly curling around the coat Tommy laid into the dirt. Using his wings as a blanket he slowly started to drift off to sleep. _

__ _ If you asked Tommy the next morning why he was smiling, Why he seemed just a tad bit happier. If you were to ask why that was the only night that Tommy got a good night's sleep. Well he would just smile and say “no reason.” _

__ _ What Tommy didn’t admit to was that he heard Wilbur humming the song to Tommy while he was falling asleep. He won’t admit that it was because he could have sworn that he saw Wilbur out of the corner of his eyes that night. He will never admit that he heard the faintest of whispers, a soft comforting voice whispering “It’s okay Tommy. Remember I’m always with you. I won’t leave you. Don’t listen to Phil and Techno. They don’t know anything. I’m so proud of you little phoenix. I love you!” _

__ _ Tommy won't admit that on that night, he fell asleep to those words and a soft hand racking its fingers through his head, the same way Wilbur used to do. _

With the faint feeling of a ghostly find running though Tommy's hair, he was back on the pillar. Still feeling the ghost's fingers racking through his hair, making him feel tired. How much he craved for those arms to embrace him just one more time. Hugging the ghost was different. The ghost was cold compared to Wilburs body. Despite that Tommy took what he could get. He would rather have the ghost there then no Wilbur at all. The ghost that invited Tommy to dance around the island many times. The ghost that still has not yet shown up.

**Never got a chance,**

**to say a last goodbye,**

**I gotta move on,**

**But it hurts to try,**

_ The day that Tommy lost Tubbo was just as hard as when he lost Wilbur. After all, Tubbo was the only other person that Tommy ever considered as family. He loved Tubbo like a brother. The one other person that Tommy ever truly trusted. Tubbos' betrayal hurt just as much as Wilburs. However, as much as Tommy wanted to be mad and hate Tubbo for it he couldn't. After all It was Tommy's fault for all of this. He brought this on to himself. Tommy did burn down George's house. He did steal from George. That didn’t make the accusation of him being called selfish any less hurtful. _

__ _ Tommy didn’t think he was selfish. I mean sure Tommy didn’t think things through sometimes, and sometimes didn’t think of consequences, But he was just a 16 year old kid. He was a teenager. He has given up so much for everyone around him. He just wanted to have some fun. He just wanted to be a teenager. He has lived through 2 major wars, actively fighting in both of them. He has been through a lot of smaller arguments, or wars. He has been exiled from his own home, the home he built with his brother. The home he was about to be exiled from again. Tommy fought, risking his life, on numerous accounts for the people he cared about. Tommy gave up the two disks that meant the most to him for his nation. Tommy gave up having a normal childhood in order to fight for his nation. No child should go through this. So no Tommy never thought that he was selfish. But then again. It was Tubbo who called him selfish. Tubbo doesn’t lie, which means that he has to be right. This meant that Tommy was selfish, right? _

__ _ Tommy was so confused. He didn’t know anymore. The three days that they were given to decide whether to exile Tommy or not was spent making plans. Tubbo looked at Tommy with anger. Tommy understood that he was mad but it still hurts. His best friend was mad at him. The only person Tommy still had that was family. At the end of those three days they came up with a solution. They decided to once again fight Dream. _

__ _ When the day came that they stood in front of Dream, that was the day the last tinny remaining sliver of hope left Tommy. Everything was going well. They were about to let Dream know that they would fight him when everything went downhill. Tubbo turned on them. Telling Dream that Tommy would be exiled. Tommy was fighting it with weak words. Trying to understand what was going on, but the second that Tubbo screamed that the disks didn’t matter, was the second that Tommys mask fell. He was trying so hard to still seem like the happy bright boy. But at that moment he couldn't pretend anymore. _

__ _ When he finally looked up at the people around him, he saw the absolute shock and hurt in their eyes. Tommys eyes were dull, more of a grey then the blue they were supposed to be. His face no longer looked young and youthful, but was filled with pain and he looked so tired. Turning to Tubbo he whispered “I understand. I thought you cared about me, but I guess I never truly had anyone that cared. I’m sorry for being selfish. I’m sorry for everything. Please take care of yourselves and this county. It may have betrayed me countless times, it may have taken everything from me, but I still love it. I love it because it's the place me and Wilbur could call home. Goodbye, old friend.” _

__ _ With those words and a small smile Tommy turned around and followed Dream out of the place he once called home. He heard the screams and calls of his friends. Tommy had no more fight left in him. He was tired. He just wanted to rest. Not speaking a single word, he and Dream left. Tommy not once looked back, but if he did he would have seen the tears streaming down his best friend's cheeks. He would have seen the hurt and absolut regret in Tubbos eyes. He would have seen both Fundy and Quackity yelling at Tubbo. But Tommy didn’t, so he never once knew how much his friend regretted his decision. To Tommy, the people standing on that obsidian wall, have proved to him, more than once, that they didn’t care for him. _

  
  


Despite everything Tommy couldn’t bring himself to hate Tubbo. He still saw Tubbo as his family. Even if Tubbo didn't see him as family. But that didn’t mean that Tommy couldn't be mad at his best friend. His words hurt Tommy. The pain was very much the same as when Wilbur said hurtful things in Pogtopia. Both of them were Tommy's family, both of them he couldn’t hate, no matter what. He still loved both of them and they were still the two people that were the most important people to him. Knowing that both of them didn’t care about him anymore hurt a lot, making Tommy feel even more tired. But then again, Wilburs ghost seems to be proving that Tommys mind isn't right, he seems to be trying to prove that he does care for Tommy.

Thinking back on it Tommy could have sworn that he saw the faint outlines of his brother floating in front of him. To Tommy it almost looked like the ghost was trying to protect him. He may have seen the tears running down the ghosts face. He saw the anger in his face. But as much as Wilbur wanted to, he couldn’t do anything at the time. After all a ghost didn’t have much chance to do anything towards the living, especially if no one saw him. Tommy remembered that when he sat in the boat with Dream he still saw his ghost brother. The ghost that looked like he was dancing around his younger brother when he was being brought to his new home in exile.

**How do I love?**

**How do I love again?**

**How do I trust?**

**How do I trust again?**

**I stay up all night,**

**Tell myself I’m alright,**

**Brother, your just harder to see then most,**

**I put the record on,**

**Wait till I hear our song,**

**Every night I'm dancing with your ghost.**

**Every night I’m dancing with your ghost.**

_ As the days passed by the worse Tommy got. Exile did not treat him well. It did not help that he had to deal with Dreams constant manipulation attempts. Tommy wasn’t stupid, he knew what Dream was trying to do. But with every day that passed the more Tommy gave up fighting. He was getting tired. So very tired of fighting. The worse Tommy got the more he started to see his brother. The ghost becoming more and more opaque the more Tommy slipped into depression. 2 weeks into his exile he fully saw Wilbur. Wilbur still couldn’t talk to Tommy but Tommy was able to see the ghost fully now, no longer a partially see through figure. _

__ _ The first time Tommy fully saw Wilbur was when he was hanging over the lava. He stared at the lava with a painful want and need. He wanted to feel warm again. He wanted to feel his heat warm and not so hollow and lonely. He just wanted to feel warmth. Dream was standing there, and eventually pushed Tommy to the ground. Tommy didn’t hear what dream was saying, no he was too focused on the crying figure floating in front of him. The ghost was trying to speak to him but Tommy couldn’t hear him. There was no sound. Despite that Tommy backed away from the cliff. After he backed away he turned to the ghost. Making direct eye contact he spoke softly “It’s never my time to die.” _

__ _ He was trying to reassure his brother that he won’t give up fighting just yet, and from the small smile that Wilbure gave him he got the message. Turning around Tommy walked back to his exile with Dream following close behind him. Once he was back in Logsteadshire Tommy sat down and just stared at Wilbur. He figured out pretty quickly that he seemed to be the only one to be able to see the ghost, but Tommy was ok with that. Tommy started humming as the ghost floated around him, and eventually he fell asleep. _

__ _ Throughout the next couple of weeks Dream gradually got worse and worse with his abuse and his manipulation attempts. Wilbur tried to protect Tommy a lot, but it turns out that a ghost that only Tommy could see couldn’t do much to protect him. The only thing Wilbur could really do was sit there and be emotional support for Tommy. After Dream would leave Wilbur would take his younger brother into his arms and hug him. Wilbur would attempt to talk to his brother, but despite all attempts, Tommy could never hear him. Tommy missed his brother's voice. He missed the comforting low hum that came from him when he sang to Tommy, he missed the soft whispers of his brothers comforting words when he was sad, he missed the silly jokes they would tell each other, he just missed Wilbur. Despite that, he was happy for his silent company. _

__ _ One day Dream seemed to have just snapped. Over Tommy’s whole exile period Tommy seemed to have never fallen for any of Dream's manipulation attempts. Granted that came mostly from the ghost that was there to help Tommy, but Dream didn't need to know that. On this one particular day Dream seemed to have gotten tired of trying to slowly break the younger boy. That night Dream got so mad at Tommy that he decided to clip his wings. Tommy felt his freedom leave with every snap of the scissors. Every feather that fluttered to the ground a reminder that he fell, a reminder that the beautiful Phoenix he once was fell. With every feather that fell the more Tommy felt taped. He sat there crying and screaming out, fighting and begging Dream to stop. He never once did. _

__ _ Eventually Dream left with a simple cruel chuckle. No words were spoken from the mask wearing tyrant. Once he was sure he was once again alone he broke down completely. Curling up into a ball Tommy wept. Crying and crying until no more tears were left. Eventually he was granted the heavenly bliss of sleep, but right before drifting off to sleep he heard Wilbur. He felt the warm arms of his brother surrounding him, and hearing the soft whisper of Wilbur saying “Oh my little phoenix. What have they done to you? You didn’t deserve any of this. You didn’t deserve to be a broken 16 year old. I always wanted you to have a better life. I’m sorry that I can’t be here for you. I love you my little phoenix.” _

__ The memory brought a smile to Tommy's face. He was so happy, he was finally able to hear his brother again after that. The days following that were filled with Wilbur comforting Tommy. Tommy remembered sitting there talking endlessly at night, and when they ran out of things to talk about they sang. That was the happiest day for Tommy during his exile. He had missed his brother's voice so much, and after that day he felt like a tiny piece of him was back. Looking up at the stars Tommy remembered the countless nights during exile spent singing and dancing with the ghost. Letting a small smile grace his lips Tommy continued the song.

**How do I love?**

**How do I love again?**

**How do I trust?**

**How do I trust again?**

_ It wasn’t supposed to be anything bad. He just wanted a place to keep his last remaining valuables safe. Tommy just wanted a place where he could keep the remaining feathers that he didn’t stitch onto Wilburs coat, the feathers that once were a part of his wings. He wanted a place to keep the view picture he still had from back home. He wanted a place to keep the disks that him and Wilbur recorded together. He just wanted a safe place for the last important things he still had. He never meant to hide them from Dream. _

__ _ Dream didn’t seem to understand why Tommy wanted to hide them away from the world. He was angry with Tommy. The absolute hatred coming off of Dream in waves scared the 16 year old boy. Tommy didn’t quite understand why Dream was so mad. Everything seemed to be a blur in that moment, very much like during Wilburs funeral. Everything seemed to be happening entirely too fast, but yet too slow at the same time. Tommy only managed to focus back into reality when he saw Dream pull out the offending red explosive that has already blown up 2 of his homes. _

__ _ The second he realized what Dream was trying to do he started grabbing stuff and getting it out of the bunker. Grabbing his last disk right when Dream lit the TNT. Getting out of his home he watched helplessly as once again he lost a home to the red explosives. This time Tommy didn’t shed a single tear. He stared at the crater that used to be his home with no emotions. Tommy was tired. So very tired. _

__ _ Any last remaining thought that Dream was his friends left with the dust that cleared. No Dream wasn’t Tommy's friend. Friends didn’t blow up each other's homes. Friends didn’t clip each other's wings. Wings that didn’t look anything like they used to. The beautiful fiery colour leaves with Tommys hope. His wings that were now covert in Dirt and rubble. Wings that had bald spots and bleeding skin. Wings whose feathers turned an ugly black, brown, and sickly looking yellow. There was no longer a golden sheen to them, but now there was a dullness to them. They looked like a burn out fire, a fire that has long since been snuffed out. The wings really did make Tommy feel exposed. After all they showed how he felt right now, nothing but a burnt out fire that was no good for anything. Tommy was tired. So very tired. _

__ _ Tommy only vaguely heard Dream mention that he wasn’t allowed to have any more visitors. Only faintly hear Dream mention that even he won’t be coming to visit for a while. Tommy knew that this was supposed to be a punishment, but in that very moment it seemed more like a blessing. With Dream leaving so did any noise. The rubble that used to be Logsteadshrine, now engulfed in a silence. Tommy collapsed onto the ground and once again fought against the tears. The tears that, now that Dream left, were harder to hold back. The feeling of loneliness and hurt setting in as the silence became unbearable. One tear rolled down Tommys cheeks. One tear that was soon followed by many more. With the tears came the need to sleep. After all, Tommy was tired. So very. So very tired. _

__ The memory of what happened 2 days ago, still fresh in Tommy's head. He never once got any explanation as to why Dream did it, hell Dream hasn’t even visited Tommy since then. But that was ok. Tommy didn’t need anyone. Tommy was ok being alone. After all, he has been alone most of his life. Everyone always left. Everyone, exempt for his brother. His ghost brother, who hasn’t been able to visit Tommy for 3 days. Wilbur who was off regaining his strength so he once again could help his brother.

Looking at the sky Tommy saw the rain letting up. It was starting to clear up and the rain was starting to stop. Maybe his brother will come back to him now? But then again his brother will most likely not make it on time. Even if Wilbur made it on time, Tommy made up his mind and he will go through with it. Tommy was tired. Tommy wished that maybe he could dance with the ghost one more time before he closed his eyes forever.

**I stay up all night,**

**Tell myself I’m alright,**

**Brother, your just harder to see then most,**

**I put the record on,**

**Wait till I hear our song,**

**Every night I’m dancing with your ghost,**

**Every night I’m dancing with your ghost,**

All Tommy heard now was silence. The song he sang for his brother was now done and all that was left was silence. Sighing Tommy lifted his head once again, looking at the sky. When he finally looked up he was slightly surprised to see Wilbur. His brother floating in front of him with tears in his eyes. Wilbur wasn’t stupid, he knew what his younger brother planed to do. Tommy knew that Wilbur knew. After all they grew up with each other. Tommy felt the hurt and protectiveness rolling off of the sad ghost.

Wilburs ghost floated over to his younger brother and hugged him. Humming like he used to in order to calm down his younger brother. After a couple of minutes he spoke with a soft caring voice “Why?”

It was a simple question. Only one word, despite that the question didn’t need any further explaining. They both knew what Wilbur was trying to ask. With a broken voice Tommy simply stated “I’m tired Wilby.”

Once again, no further explanation was needed. They both knew what the younger boy meant. They both knew that Tommy was talking about all the pain and sorrow. They both knew that Tommy was tired of getting abandoned, tired of getting left behind, tired of being betrayed, tired of all the pain. But most importantly, Tommy was tired of living.

Despite that Wilbur asked “Why don’t you sleep then? You have all night to rest up.”

They both knew that Wilbur wasn’t talking about sleeping. No, Wilbur was talking about Tommy taking a break. He was talking about Tommy taking it slow and just breath for a minute. Wilbur meant that Tommy should take a break from all the fighting. For Tommy to leave and have a better life.

This time Tommy let out a dry humourless laugh. It didn’t sound mean or cruel in the slightest. No it just sounded tired and broken. It is the laugh of someone that’s been so hurt, someone that never got his chance to redeem himself, who never got the chance of having a break from the constant wars and hurt.

Slowly standing up Tommy looked at his brother with a broken smile. Tommy hummed for a second before he spoke “ **Every night I’m dancing with your ghost!** ”

It took Wilbur a minute to understand. It took him a second to understand that what Tommy meant was that the only way he could really sleep was with his brother there. The only way for Tommy to sleep was for him to become like Wilbur. To become, like his brother, a wandering spirit. Forever lost in this world. By the time Wilbur understood it was too late. All that Wilbur could do was watch in horror as his little phoenix fell. After all... Even a Phoenix Can Fall.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Everyone, 
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the story. Like I stated in my last fic please don't ship these people. It's okay if it's platonic relationships but I am against shipping real people romantically together so I would appreciated it if you didn't. Thank you!
> 
> I hope you liked the story. This one is a sad one. Please leave your comments and let me know what you thought. If you have any suggestions let me know! Thank you! 
> 
> Sorry for how long this one took... It kinda turned out to be a lot longer then I originally planed... 
> 
> Crazywolf_16


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